Life has been very hectic and unbalanced for me lately. So mich busyness and so little time for myself.
About a month ago we had to put one of our horses down, which was heartbreaking. I cried for days, and then cried more for my Katie, who loved this horse more than anything. He had been injured in the fall, with infection spreading into his elbow joint. We trailered him to New Bolton equine hospital (one of the best, it’s where Barbaro was after breaking his leg), where they blasted him with antibiotics and cleared the infection. He was recovering really well, walking well, and we were planning his first easy ride. Suddenly, the limp was back, but different. The vet came out and took some x-rays; worst news ever….new bone growth was fusing the joint together and he was slowly and painfully losing all mobility in that leg. There was absolutely nothing we could do.
This is the art I commissioned for my daughter of her and Joey. He has left a huge hole, both in the barn and in my heart.
One week later this happened;
My younger son joined the army. Officially on my birthday. We had 10 days with him before he shipped out for basic training. I still can’t wrap my head around this, and miss him horribly. I’m still crying 10 times a day over him being gone, then feel so selfish, because he not chased, but caught his star. I feel such fierce pride in him, but damn, I miss him. We have always been so close, and to have no time to prepare for him being gone has left me reeling, unfocused, heartbroken. I have a message from him saying he arrived at his base safely, and I’d have a letter in a couple of weeks. I am not handling this very well at all.
The day we took him to the recruiter, the day before he shipped out, I started knitting this:
Its a simple triangle shawl, pulled from my imagination, with a simple cable spine. Just enough to keep my mind a tiny bit distracted, but not so much that o can’t comprehend what I’m doing. He left a week ago, and I’m not getting very far. Usually my knitting helps me focus, but I can’t just yet. A few rows at a time, I guess.
I’ve also joined the gym, and am going 5 times a week, mostly because I don’t think when I’m working out and plugged into my headphones. I’ve been wanting to do this for myself to awhile and finally have.